Awesome Blood Sugar Level This Morning

I hope everyone is doing well today.  For my morning  I do not know what is up with my children these last couple of days.  But you just push through the day and turn it into a positive.   
One of the great things that happened to me today was my morning glucose level.  It was at 98.  The best it has been in along time.  I was excited.  This makes me want to working harder to achieve my goals of health and fitness. It is all about saving my life and be around for my husband , kids, family and friends.   So this morning I drank that yummy butterscotch Shakeology.   It really tastes like a Butterfinger and less the half the calories and full of 70 ingredients that are good for you.  Check out this website and read about Shakeology.  www.myshakeology.com/fitlakegirl.  Then I made Pastor Pam's Chili .  It is cooking and smelling good.  And it is healthy.  It is about time for me to get off my booty and get some things done.   Craig's dad is coming over for dinner and we are having  Pizza Burgers.   It is a recipe from my  Biggest Loser Cook Book


I got my workout in and i did power 90 sculpt 3-4  .  I was able to 12 chair up .  I usually could only do 4  before I had knee surgery .  I was so excited.  I make sure I bring my A game every day I work out.   


 Tips for the Day . 




1 , Eat some avocado,olives, almonds, or sesame seeds. Small amounts give your body the good ft that it needs
2. Talk positively  to yourself; don't talk down. If your sugar level was high, think( I was high, and treated it.  Rather than I was High and I failed.
3. Did you know that fat-free foods can sometimes be higher in calories and in carbohydrates, the the original version? Read the two labels and compare
4. Eat breakfast every day. People who eat breakfast are less likely to overeat  later in the day 
5.Eat one more serving of vegetables today then you would normally.
6 Exercise can drop blood sugar too low, so carry a source of sugar with you to treat hypoglycemia. 
7.Take a walk after dinner instead of watching TV. 
8.Control the diabetes so it does not control you.
9.Stretching keeps the body younger. As people age, they lose flexibility and balance. Stretching gives it back . 
10. Foods with trans fats are bad for your heart. If the label says  partially hydrogenated  vegetable oil, shortening , or margarine, beware!

I lost weight today

I hope everyone is having a great Monday .  Today I had a little rough morning with the kids but I got them out the door .  Craig and I had errands to run and we stopped by my parents house to visit.  I went to weigh myself and when I started the last week on changing my life and get healthy and in control of my diabetes I weighed 228 .  Today I weigh 224 .  I have lost 4lbs,  By drinking shakeology on a daily basis, drinking water, eating healthy , checking my sugar levels  and exercising.   And today my morning sugar level was 124.    

It has been over 9 mos since I have seen weight loss.  Because of not taking care of myself. this makes me want to push even harder.  I have not gotten my work out in but I will get it done before the end of the day . It has been a busy one. 




Was able to get my work out in tonight Power 90 3-4  Sweat Cardio and Ab Ripper 200.  I had the mp3 going and I brought my A game on with my workout with Tony Horton.  I was pushing through the pain and I did it.  I felt good and boy was it worth it.   Since it was late and did not want a big dinner I made a Butterfinger Shakeology for dinner.  It was to die for.  My son was getting ready to go to bed and I had him try it.  He said Mom this is like a butterfinger.   Can I have one in the morning.  He  usually likes it with just peanut butter and almond milk and chocolate shakeology .   

Until you feel strong enough to deal with the pain in your life, you're not going to be able to feel the joy, either." J. Michaels, #BL10
"Until you feel strong enough to deal with the pain in your life, you're not going to be able to feel the joy, either." J. Michaels, #BL10
We do not have to let our feelings control us. We can manage our emotions with God's help. Joyce Meyer

Day 3 of getting it together

Happy Sunday ,  This morning I slept in late, Late for me it 845  or 9 am .   But I really needed coffee this morning to get going.   My blood sugar was  130 which is a little better then the day before.  I had my yummy Shakeology with Almond Milk and Blueberries, and Bananas, and Chocolate shakeology .  It was so good and gave me  energy .  I love this stuff.   If any of you are interested in it let me know and I will be glad to give you the information on it.  


This afternoon my sugar level was at 80. I do not usually have problems in the afternoon with my sugar levels.  Then I headed in for my work out .  I decided to step it up with Power 90  Sculpt 3-4.  I borrowed my daughter's mp3 player and was working  out with the music.  This was a challenge for me and something I needed.  I admit at certain times I just wanted to give up .  Then a song came on it was Taylor Hicks ( Do I Make You Proud ) .  I was working out  the words in the song made me cry as I was working out . It brought back memories ,  I pushed my way through my work out tears and all, and I completed it. And Mama if  you are reading my blog today you will remember why.  I love you Mama.


So tonight is taco night at my house and Pinto Beans and salad.   I have not gotten all the water I am suppose to but I am hoping to get it all in before I go to bed tonight.   My blood glucose was at 85 at 845 .2hours after I ate dinner and I did manage to get 3 32 oz glasses of water


A Friend share this today on Facebook and it was awesome .

Chose Good Carbohydrates, not no carbohydrates and healthy carbohydrates.   


We have all tried fad diets and some of those fad diets included no carbohydrates.  Well our body does need carbohydrates for physical activity and for helping your organs work properly and they are need for a healthy diet.  However you need to eat Good Carbohydrates. 


What are good carbohrydrates?
Whole Grains for one the less processed the better for you , vegetables, fruits ( not peas, potatoes these are starchy foods)


Here are some whole grains 

• Whole wheat berries, whole wheat bulgur, whole wheat couscous and other strains of wheat such as kamut and spelt
• Brown rice
• Oat groats, steel-cut oats, rolled oats
• Whole rye
• Hulled barley (pot, scotch, and pearled barley often have much of their bran removed)
• Buckwheat, quinoa (pronounced keen-wah), wild rice, and amaranth are considered whole grains even though botanically they are not in the grain family of plants

Try these five quick tips for adding good carbs to your diet:

1. Start the day with whole grains. Try a hot cereal, like steel cut oats, or a cold cereal that lists a whole grain first on the ingredient list.

2. Use whole grain breads for lunch or snacks. Confused about how to find a whole-grain bread? Look for bread that lists as the first ingredient whole wheat, whole rye, or some other whole grain —and even better, one that is made with only whole grains, such as 100 percent whole wheat bread.

3. Get rid of the potatoes. Instead, try brown rice, bulgur, wheat berries, whole wheat pasta, or another whole grain with your dinner. Read "Health Gains from Whole Grains" for a list of whole grains and their health benefit

4. Choose whole fruit instead of juice.An orange has two times as much fiber and half as much sugar as a 12-ounce glass of orange juice. 

5. Bring on the beans. Beans are an excellent source of slowly digested carbohydrates as well as a great source of protein.

I found this information on the Harvard School of Public Health website.  Just so you know I am not a doctor and do not claim to be.  I research my information and pass it along .  This if for me to learn about my disease and what I need to do to make me live a healthy live .  I just want to pass on the information that I find .  A lot of times people do not really understand  things or what they have to do .   Just remember do not be afraid to ask your doctor questions ,  get the facts and do what you have to do to live a healthy life.  To be around for your family , kids, and enjoy it.  And always give back for what you have been given so freely.   

If some of my information is wrong or you find something better.  Please post it on my blog to education me and give back to others .   

November 5, 2011 day 2 of my new journey

I did get my work out in last night like I said.  I did  Power 90 Sweat Cardio and Ab Ripper 100  at about  10 last night.  The best part was my 12 yr old son was still up .  He was watching Happy Days in the other room and  came in and joined me for my work out . It was really cool.   What a supportive kid I have.   Well I am lucky  my daughter helps me work out at times also .  Then I chilled and read my book until my husband arrived home  around 100 for a long week in Cali.   We were up until after 2  and I got a little hungry and instead of making a healthy choice . I went and got 3 pieces of  candy for the kids Halloween stash.  What a mistake that was .  This morning my blood glucose was 158.   I was so mad at myself for doing this.  But I turned it around and made it positive day and a learning experience.   I did not think that 3 pieces of candy would have such an effect on me.    

One of the things I did do today was go grocery shopping.  I took out all my diabetes cook books and  planned my menu for the week and what I needed at the store.   The cook books I use are Fix it and Forget it Diabetic Cookbook  for slow cookers,  The Biggest Loser Cook book and the Betty Crocker's Diabetic   Cook book, I also get Eating Clean Magazine .   I find for me if I make a list of what I need before shopping I tend to stick to that list  and I end up spending less .  If I do not make a list or a menu , I end up buying stuff I do not need or not as healthy for myself and my family and I spend alot more.  

The rest of the day was just chillin with my family and doing some Arts and Crafts.   Got all my water in for the day is was 96 oz ,  good blood sugar levels the rest of the day.  Watched this weeks Biggest Loser and it reminder me I did not work out .  So I decided I should at least get Ab ripper 200 in.  My husband decided to join me and we finished it.  I feel good today .   Since my blood glucose has been good for the day I am hoping tomorrow morning will be great .   I have not eaten since 7 pm.


Those good ole Carbohydrates: 


   Food has 3 main Nutrients, Carbohydrates, protein and fat.  Carbohydrate foods will raise your blood glucose level, so you need to watch how much you eat.  Foods that do contain  Carbs, are Starches, fruit, milk, and some milk products and of course those famous things called Sweets. Sugar is also a Carbohydrate, and effects the body the same way as other carbs.   You can still eat sweets and food with added sugar as long as you count the carbs. But foods with high sugar counts tend to little nutritional value other then calories.  


Here are some tips to help when counting your carbohydrates:


1. remember that 15 grams of carbs counts as one Carb choice 
2. One , starch, fruit or milk exchange is equal to 1 carb choice . Foods in these 3 groups all raise blood glucose. 
3. Meats and fats are not counted because they do not contain carbs. 
4. Non-starchy vegetables any vegies except corn, peas, squash and potatoes, are not counted  unless eaten  in large amounts  ( 3 cups of raw or 1 1/2 cooked vegies)
5. Food that has 5 or more grams of fiber , you subtract the total amount of grams of fiber from the total carbohydrates  before determining  your carb choices.   


This information was provide from one of my cook books. 
More on Carbs tomorrow.  

November 4th My journey begins

Well,  my day started off with my little girl still not feeling well and be not a 100% because of my sinus infection.    Got my son out the door for school.   I went back to sleep for a little but kind of hard when your daughter's medicine  kicked in and she is  using your laptop and playing music on You Tube.  I kept hearing hear Chris Commisso, Bruno Mars and the Lazy song ( with P90X words in my head ) and whatever else . So I got up and I tested my morning fasting and it was at 150. So I have to make sure that I watch what I eat today.   It could be off a little bit because I am not feeling well.   So I took all my medicine and  made me a Chocolate , Peanut Butter, and Banana  Shakeology with Almond Milk.  It is the best part of my morning a Healthy Shake with over 70 ingredients and it is good for you and tastes great.    At lunch I had a Tuna Melt on Rye Bread with Swiss and I used my George Forman  grill .  It was Yummy.   On my second 32 ounce glass of water .  For my glucose level after lunch is was 125 . On my 3rd glass of water.   My dinner tonight will be a lean cuisine Sesame Chicken ,  Also I will have some green beans, and other mixed vegetables  with other glass of water.  I had four 32 oz cups of water today my last blood glucose count was at 9pm and is was at 78.   I am so happy.   


I will be doing Power 90 tonight which will be Sweat Cardio  and Ab Ripper 100  by Tony Horton.  

Learning About Diabetes:

In type 2 diabetes, either the body does not produce enough insulin or the cells ignore the insulin. Insulin is necessary for the body to be able to use glucose for energy. When you eat food, the body breaks down all of the sugars and starches into glucose, which is the basic fuel for the cells in the body. Insulin takes the sugar from the blood into the cells. When glucose builds up in the blood instead of going into cells, it can lead to diabetes complications. Diabetes increases your risk for many serious health problems. The good news? With the correct treatment and recommended lifestyle changes, many people with diabetes are able to prevent or delay the onset of complications.  ( Information from the American Diabetes Associations).


Signs of Diabetes ( Type 2) 


Frequent trips Urination
Unquenchable Thrist
Losing Weight with out Trying 
(1) More noticeable in Type 1 diabetes-
(2) Type 2 happens gradually with increasing insulin resistance so weight loss in not as noticeable
Weakness and Fatigue
Tingling and Numbness in your hands or feet or both


Other signs or symptoms that my happen
Blurred Vision, Skin that is dry or itchy, frequent infections or cuts and bruises that take longer time to heal . Are signs that something is not right. 


I hope everyone has a great weekend 

November 3, 2011 Results of my Diabetes and facts

Well yesterday I went to my doctor's appointment to 1) find out about my lab work and diabetes, (2) because I had a sinus infection.  


I can honestly tell you before I was pretty scared about going to see my Patti ( Dr.).  Since I had got the news for nurse Linda what my A1c level was last Thursday,  I started back taking my medicine for diabetes regularly and  watching what I was eating and  checking my blood glucose 4 times a day. I even started to walk again.  I had knee surgery 3 months ago and I can not do my hard impact work outs completely .   I have to modify but that is ok with me.  So, I started back slowing with walking and I will work my way up.   


I walked in to see Patti and I was in the room waiting for her .  It seemed like forever,  finally what seemed like a 1/2 hour  (actually 5-10 minutes)  she came in .  We chatted a bit and then we got to it . It meaning my diabetes.  My head running a  1000 miles a minute.  Patti told me that my A1c was at 7.1 which is not great but it could have been worse, then my fasting glucose was 138 . This is not good.  It should be about 110 .   Then my  triglycerides are at 290  ouch that is bad.  Should be less then 150 .  My head is saying ok , I can deal with this I have done it before I know what works and what I need to do.   Then I asked about my kidneys,  she  advised me that there was Albumin in my urine or kidneys, this hit me hard.  I did not want to hear this at all.  My head went to kidney failure.   Patti said not it is not to that extent but I need to correct what I am doing.   She said we would do my lab work and everything in 2-3 months and she will probably change some of my medicines at that time  to protect my kidneys.   


When I left her office, with my prescriptions in hand ,  and my heart feeling heavy with all I heard I got int he truck and called my husband.  I told him the news , yes is was concerned but said we would do what ever we had to do to correct it.  We will get through everything .  I started to cry because I am scared.  


I know I can do this I can beat this thing,  I am strong, I am a fighter, I have faith.
  In looking at it  I in away, relapsed to my old ways, not the old ways  of my addiction to drugs  but the addiction of saying I can eat whatever I want and when I want to.  Also how much of it.  I do not need to take my medicine, I do not have to work out ,   I will take care of everyone else and not worry about me.  
So know it is recovery time and I know I have to watch, what I eat, work out, eat healthy, take care of myself, because I can take care of everyone else if I do not take care of myself.   




Here are some facts about  Diabetes-


This is a fact that in the United States Diabetes is the underlying cause of more deaths per year then AIDS and Breast Cancer combined. It is time for America to make a change .


Diabetes- effects, the heart, eyes, feet, high blood pressure, your pancreas , kidneys, and more.   

A person with some or all of the following listed health risk factors may never develop type 2 diabetes. However, the latest medical findings show that the chances of getting type 2 diabetes increase the more health risk factors you have.

• A family history of diabetes. If a parent or sibling in your family has diabetes, your risk of developing type 2 diabetes increases.
• Age over 45. The chance of getting type 2 diabetes increases with age.
• Race or ethnic background. The risk of type 2 diabetes is greater in Hispanics, African-Americans, Native Americans, and Asians.
• Metabolic syndrome (also calledinsulin resistance syndrome).
• Being overweight. If you are overweight, defined as a body mass index (BMI) greater than 25, you're at higher risk of type 2 diabetes.
• Hypertension. High blood pressure increases the risk of developing type 2 diabetes.
• Abnormal cholesterol levels. HDL ("good") cholesterol levels under 35 mg/dL (milligrams per deciliter) and/or a triglyceride level over 250 mg/dL increases your risk of type 2 diabetes.
• History of gestational diabetes. Getting diabetes during pregnancy or delivering a baby over nine pounds can increase your risk of type 2 diabetes.

Most of all  today children, teenagers are at risk of getting diabetes.  Do to the way society is today.  We need to change the way society is today and help children and other family members get healthy.   

So lets get started .   Tomorrow I will be posting what u can do to prevent or help your diabetes.  And what I am doing.  I will try to post on a daily basis with my blood glucose reading,  what I am eating, exercising .   

Lets all End the Trend of Obesity and help with the fight against diabetes

 

October 27,2011 Diabetes Out of Control

I was really wondering if I was going to post this or not .  But I am hoping I can help someone else learn from me . 
I look at myself a year ago and see when I started my weightloss journey.  How excited I was and  realized that I had hit my bottom and wanted to changed.   I feel in love with Beachbody , there products and the people and my coach was and still is wonderful.   I lost weight working out and drinking shakeology and changing the way I eat .   My whole family changed.   I had lost 26 lbs and 17 total body inches.   I was so happy.    Then my live took on some major changes  I major move to help my father in law who has cancer . New state , no friends and having to start a new life.  3 surgeries in a year for different things in my life.   But some where along the line with all the going on,  I stopped doing all the right things and it was hard to cook healthy all the time when my father in law did not like healthy food.   So I began to let myself get depressed and unhappy and not work out and not drink my amazing shake.   I did not do a lot with Beachbody.    How can I sell a product that I am not faithfully using .  I know it works and I know the work out programs work .  I see it everyday .   With Beachbody community,


I had  some chats via facebook with my Beachbody Coach and she has dealt with a lot of the same things I have .  She made me think .    What I need to do.  Then today I got the call.   My lab work came back.  I was scared of this ,  I have to see  Dr. Patti next Thursday.  I asked the Nurse Linda what my A1c level was and she said 7.1 .  I said shit.   I was upset.   In April I was at 5.9  off of one of my meds and feeling great  .  Today I am back at 7.1 and gained 24 lbs back.     


I have been thinking these last couple of days that I have to treat this as I do my recovery,  I am a recovering addict with almost 22 months clean sober.    I know I can not drink or do drugs again or I will die.   I have to look at my diabetes, health , fitness as a total lifestyle change for life.  I can not stop exercising or eating healthy and think I will be ok,  I have to stay that way or I will die of Diabetes, or fatty liver disease or something.  It took me a while to hit my bottom with drugs and alcohol,    I hit my bottom today with my diabetes and my health.   


I am going back to what I do . Drink Shakeology , workout, modify it,  walk the dog , eat healthy. 
I want to live and be able to do around for a while.   


I will find out the read of my results next week.   I wanted to share this because people need to hear that it has to be a life style change and we all have to make it .   Do not ever give up.  


Diabetes,  Obesity, and other diseases caused by being overweight we need to make a change.   


I hope this helps someone else  so they will not have to go through what I did. 


I have to keep pushing and pushing my way out of depression and, other areas of my life, to suceed . 
I will start with one day at a time . 


Thank you for reading


Cindy ( Fitlakegirl)

October 25,2011 Dealing with Preteens

Well,  I have to say the last 5 days with my son have been so hard and trying to understand what is going on with a preteen is driving me crazy.  Friday was a great day he went to his first school dance as a 6th grader  in middle school.  He had the best time so I like yes , a great start to a great weekend.  Saturday he did the pumpkin patch at  church with his friends from youth group and had such a great time.  Then Sunday comes and he is complaining about everything and what he is not getting and what he is getting.  He is never happy.   I ask very little of him , clean your room, make your bed, help around the house ,  then he goes on the rampage my sister does nothing and I have to do everything .  She gets away with everything.  Which is not true .  Then he comes home yesterday which is the topper with 1 in house referral   and 1 ISS.    He was throwing a pencil in the air and hit some one with the pencil .  So he was sent in to the office.  Then on 5th period  he left his PE clothes at home and he had an option of using  loner clothes or ISS  .  He chose ISS  .  Hello ,  why not the loner clothes when I forgot my clothes for PE that is what I did .   His excuse was what if someone peed in them or something.  Ugh. 


We are at a loss with him.   I do not know what to do .  He got an awesome report card 4 A's and 2 C's   and  he is basically a good kid.   But something is going on .  


So today we are going to counseling to see what we can do.   I want my son happy, I do know we can not be happy all the time but most of it.   I also want him to be able to talk to us about things  and be honest .   Is this too much to ask?   We are here to listen to help , offer advice.   Whatever .  


We love our kids and we only want the best for them.   






Ephesians 4:25-32

²⁵ Therefore, putting away lying, “ Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,”^[e] for we are members of one another. ²⁶ “Be angry, and do not sin”:^[f] do not let the sun go down on your wrath,²⁷ nor give place to the devil. ²⁸ Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. ²⁹ Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. ³² And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

October 18,2011 and October 19,2011

Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday.  As for me I am still suffering from a migraine.   Sitting at the dentist office waiting for Ty to get done.   


You know it is only Tuesday and it feels like I am in for a very long week  a head.    If my head would stop pounding I would feel great.   I also have an Education Committee meeting at church to go to .  Wish Craig was home to deal with the kicks so I could sleep.   Well Ty done with the dentist time to get him back to school and will continue later.


Hi,   I never got back no last night to finish my blog.   But last night the Education meeting at church for the children and youth was great.  We have some much going on and lots of fun.   And as you can tell my migraine is pretty much gone.     


I volunteer at the church on Wednesdays and as I was driving in to church I was thinking back at when my mother in law used to say to Craig's Aunt Mary.  Go to church and make friends and get involved.   I heard it for years and never thought that what she was saying to Craig's Aunt was the answer.  
But when we found St Johns United Methodist Church in Kingman,  her words came to me and I got involved in church and meeting new people.  My family goes every Sunday and I am getting feed spiritually.  Learning and growing.  I have a long way to go , but so far it is a great Journey.   My mother in law Peggy was right .   I miss her lots and wish she was here with me on this journey.   


My life is changing is so many ways , I am looking to get physically feed with fitness and spiritually feed.   As well is having a great relationship with my kids that I am struggling with.   They have done through so much and are just bouncing back and have a stable home again. And parents that are clean and sober.   Through the grace of God.   


Tomorrow is a girl day with my mom and I we are going to Bullhead and Laughlin  just us.  I a not wait should be alot of fun.

October 17,2010 Monday

The last time I wrote on my blog it was to say Good Bye to my best friend.  This was hard to deal with but I am better every day.   I did not use which was never an issue for me because my sobriety or clean time means alot to me . But I did use food to help cover the pain I was feeling.  I would stuff myself at night with sweets and stopped exercising and drinking my shakeology and eating healthy .  I felt unattractive and not good about myself.   I need to  overcome this.  And I had to find a why to do that.   I have the  tools I just did not use them and during that time and before that I started not using them.  

So after a couple of weeks of watching the Biggest Loser , This season is hitting me the hardest.   I think it has to do with the people on the show the new coaches.   Not that I did not like Jillian Micheal's and Brett Horbel. they are awesome and I love them a inspiring coaches and people.   But I relate more with the feelings of the people  .  I cry because I can feel there pain.

So I decided to start with the 3 day cleanse with Shakeology and get back on tract.  I have an addiction to food and an addiction to not working out.   So I have to conquer that one day at a time just like I have to with  other areas of my life.

I also have a strong faith in God and an awesome church .    A Great Husband and  kids and family.   so I hope to be able to conquer my food addiction.  

Good Bye my Friend Good Bye.

I was getting all the kids ready to leave church.  I just happened to check my phone look to see if Craig had called because he is out of town .  But I saw a missed call from your mom.  My head started spinning with all these thoughts and hoping for the best thought in my head. But deep down in side I knew something was wrong.  I did and did not want to know .  I dialed the number and spoke to your mom.   We were in the cafeteria part of my church .  She asked me to sit down.  So I did.  I didn't  want to hear what was next .  I was just hoping it was that you were in the hospital but you would be alright..  Well, when the words came out of your moms mouth we lost you . I just starting crying and so hard  I dropped the phone. . I Could not believe it. Friends at the church got Pastor Pam for me and we talked she helped me. I was able to put it together and get the kids home.   I just talked to you 2 days after your 45th birthday .  We talked and laughed and you told me things were getting better, that he was out of your life.  You stopped putting money on his books in Jail .   You wanted a divorce.  You told me about the kids and how big they were getting and how much you loved the kids . You also told me that your lung disease was still the same and not getting worse.  But you had to use a wheel chair know..   There were other things you told me also .  But I found out they were all lies.  You were stilling using meth and the doctors told you to stop or that will kill you before the disease did.

Gosh, I am angry and hurt inside.  Why did you do this?  Was disease and the addiction to meth and a husband who was always hurting you in alot of ways a good enough  . Was that the life you wanted for you and your kids.    Did you really have to go back to him all those years.   I was always there to help you to guide you to the right places to get clean and shelters.  Did you take a moment to think of your kids you left behind.  2 kids that did not deserve the life you and he gave them.  Thank goodness for Gram and your mom and step dad.   To give those kids a staple place.  I thought after you went to jail about 8 yrs ago and you got your life together for a while and got your kids back that it would be different.  It was for a while.  Till the drugs came back into both of you and his life.   You blamed it all on him. But it was both of you .   

I hope you know the reason I did not see you was because I was getting my life together and so was Craig .  We had hit our bottom and needed to help our family .   Did you know we have 20 mos clean .  Here I was the one drug I had thought you quit you still did .  You fooled me .  You said you loved your best friend.  We had been friends for 36 yrs. 

We went through everything together .  We had alot of good times that will out way the bad.  But I remember those bad times in our disease.   I know the drug called, Ice, meth what ever it is called today is bad stuff.   If you do not get help it leads to jails, institutions, or death.   It hurts because that last time you did it you ended up in the hospital and  but this time you were not coming home .  You were in a coma and past on Monday .  

I wish you were still here so I could shake you and say what the hell are you doing.  What about your kids.  I know the lung disease would have taken you sooner or later .  But the drugs is what took you were are are today.   I hope you are in a good place and  you have not pain and no hurt. 

I will help be there for your mom and kids.  I will do whatever I have to, to help keep those kids from him.  He does not deserve them after what he did to you and them.

I hope you knew you I love my best friend and I prayed a lot for you .  Know you are gone.  All I wan't to do is cry.  I posted a song on Face Book by Rascal Flats called Why.   Because I will never know why.   

Rest in Peace my Friend- Thank you for being a friend, for introducing me to my soulmate .  I couldn't have ask more .   We have to 2 great kids.  

I will do my best to always think of the good times.   

God Bless you My friend.    I will always love my friend , my sister. 

Rest in  Peace  J.F.   Sept 17, 1966- October  3, 2011

Cindy  ( Fitlakegirl)

September 28,2011

Since this is a my journey and all my ups and downs  today there is alot going through my head.  

The first thing is a just lost a friendship I had for over  12 yrs.  I have been try to help a friend who is an addict and walked away from her kids and husband for a 46 yr old man.  She said she wanted to get clean and I did everything I could .  But because I told her in an email how I felt and she made a comment on FB about dying her hair  and I said you can not respond to a message and I am and I will pray for you .  Her friend made a comment and so did she and then deleted me as a friend.  I am so hurt and I want to take her and shake her to get it together .   I have 20 months clean and sober and I would not want to change that at all.  I can see what it has done to my friend and I am so blessed  that my husband and I are in recovery .

The other thing that is bothering me is that I got on the scale on Sunday and I am back to 224  2 lbs less then I was last year at this time.   I gained it back.   I can make all the excuses I want but I did it to myself.   I let myself down .  I have had a hard year with 3 surgeries,  moving to Arizona and taking care of my father inlaw and trying to get settled .   I need not to fail  .    I have to get back on the horse and stay on it.   I am hurting about alot of things and I feel like a big fat blob .    I have to work through this and I will.   I can not live like this .   I am going to succeed this time.  I have the support and I have the whole Beachbody community.

I love my hubby and my family and my beachbody friends.    

#095 - P90X Newsletter - Fro-Yo: Yes or No?

#095 - P90X Newsletter - Fro-Yo: Yes or No?

Check out some yummy receipes.

JULY 17 2011

I  was sitting in church today and Pastor Pam was preaching and we were talking about spending time with family, friends, God.   She was telling us about a man who came home from work and was very tired he knew his son was waiting to say goodnight.. He went in and said Goodnight and his son said Dad how much do you make?  Dad was irritated and say enough go to bed.  Dad really how much do you make ?  Ok 25.00 /hour.  Go to sleep .  Then again the son said Dad can I borrow 10.00 dad say no and said go to bed.  The next morning the dad felt really bad about saying no  to his son, so he went into this son's room and apologized and gave the son the money.  The boy was so excited he went to his piggy bank  and dumped it out and put the money his dad had gave and on time and said  Dad can buy an hour of your time.   I was blown  a way with this story and I had to take a look at my own life and my family .

Pastor Pam also said how much time do you spending praying to God. About 3 minutes of you time .  I bet you spend more time on Facebook.   Makes you stop and think about what you do with your life.   If was very powerful to me and I realize I so not always give my children the time they need or the time that I should be giving to God and it is not the time that you ask for things it is waiting for him to talk and communicate with you .  

“But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day”
(Proverbs 4:18, ESV)

JULY 17,2011

Just for today, no matter where I am going, or what I am doing, or who I am doing it with, it is my intention to focus on the positive. Lucy MacDonald

Direct Selling Association | Ethics, Trust, Confidence.

Direct Selling Association | Ethics, Trust, Confidence.

Check out this article about BeachBody or Team BeachBody.

June 17,2010 Being a caregiver and learning about me

"When someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive. There will always be room for growth."

  

There is alot of things to do with having a healthy life .  Some is mentally, some is fitness and health and eating write some is taking a look at yourself and finding the inner peace, or correcting your character defects and learning to break the old patterns of behavior you once had .   

So today is about me and correct a behavior that was pointed out to me .  I actually took it very well. My father in law is in the hospital well dad has been picking in my alot lately and getting on my kids also. I am not saying I have perfect kids and I am not perfect either. Its never really my husband.   I do not know why if it is something I do not do not do.  But I spoke my mind tonight and hand spoke his words.  So I had to get one last zinger in before I walked out in tears in the hospital .

   We came back and had dinner and my husband and I were talking.  He said you know you always have to have the last word with dad.  I said I had to make my last point.   I was drying a pot and I said do  I do this with you . He said yes you do at times.  I had to soak this in .  Then mom called and I said we were talking and not fighting and my husband said I had to have the last word.  My mom said yes you do .  I am like mom I do that to you also . She said yes.  Of course you know my husband was smiling in said.  (I know I would be also ).  I really had to let this sink in deeper as I was drying dishes. I really did not know I did this . 

I have been thinking about this since we did the dishes and I had to think back and arguments I have had with my spouse, my mom, father inlaw and so on.   I do this I really do.   I think I may know why . Because I have to hurt them because of how much they hurt me.   This comes way back from my using days and learning and growing from my past.   So I am trying to stop myself from doing this and find another way to deal with it. 

Just for Today: I will greet each opportunity for growth with an open mind.

I have been  caring for my father in law for 3 months.  I did not think it would be easy but I thought there was time before it really hard.   Blending 2 households is not easy especially since dad has been living by himself for 4 years.  I also have 2 kids and my hubby and my puppy Zoey. We live with him when we first got married and had our son but it is different this time.    It takes alot of patience , loving care,tolerance.  Well lately have been lacking in the tolerance area .   I take him to all his doctors appts,  switch doctors to better ones because of problems we had with his old Chemo doctors.  Do the cooking, cleaning, taking care of him and make sure he takes is medicine and drinks all his water .  Help with finances, etc.   Plus raise my own family.  I do not mean my husband does not help.  He does when he is not working .  He helps with the kids alot  which is a great blessing.   But I thought when we moved out here that we would be able to have some good memories with each other and the kids enjoy their grandfather also.  But it has not been that way .  I guess it wont be that way because that is how he wants it.   So I will  work on tolerance and pray alot and read my bible and turn to people I can .   I will do everything I can to make this time the best for him and take care of him the best I can.   It has been hard these last couple of days.