Since this is a my journey and all my ups and downs today there is alot going through my head.
The first thing is a just lost a friendship I had for over 12 yrs. I have been try to help a friend who is an addict and walked away from her kids and husband for a 46 yr old man. She said she wanted to get clean and I did everything I could . But because I told her in an email how I felt and she made a comment on FB about dying her hair and I said you can not respond to a message and I am and I will pray for you . Her friend made a comment and so did she and then deleted me as a friend. I am so hurt and I want to take her and shake her to get it together . I have 20 months clean and sober and I would not want to change that at all. I can see what it has done to my friend and I am so blessed that my husband and I are in recovery .
The other thing that is bothering me is that I got on the scale on Sunday and I am back to 224 2 lbs less then I was last year at this time. I gained it back. I can make all the excuses I want but I did it to myself. I let myself down . I have had a hard year with 3 surgeries, moving to Arizona and taking care of my father inlaw and trying to get settled . I need not to fail . I have to get back on the horse and stay on it. I am hurting about alot of things and I feel like a big fat blob . I have to work through this and I will. I can not live like this . I am going to succeed this time. I have the support and I have the whole Beachbody community.
I love my hubby and my family and my beachbody friends.
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